So I had an epiphany the other day while sitting on an airplane with hours to go until I landed. Normally I try to sleep on planes but I couldn’t this time. You know why? Because I had to use the bathroom..bad! And no, I didn’t need to pee. Now you may be thinking, ‘ew why are you writing about this? I don’t even talk to my husband/boyfriend/mom about pooping’, but I promise I have a point.
So let me give you some context: I was returning home from a three day conference where they overloaded us with food and booze. Traveling, in general, messes up my bathroom schedule. Throw in all that Tex Mex (I was in San Antonio) and Pinot Grigio and I was really hurting. I was day dreaming about getting home so I could have the comfort of my bathroom. Let me just tell you...I was stuck at the airport for three hours, had an upcoming three hour long flight, plus another hour and a half drive home. If you can’t do math, that is seven and a half hours that I would have to wait to void my god forsaken bowels.
Now I hope, for your sake, that you are thinking ‘if you were stuck at the airport for three hours why didn’t you go to the bathroom then?’, but if you are like the majority of us then that thought probably never even crossed your mind. You’re probably more like ‘damn girl, that sucks..been there’. So all this bloated as hell, gurgley stomach, buttcheek clenching feelings got me thinking: what the hell is wrong with me? I mean, how many times do you go into a public bathroom and it smells like poop? ALL the time! So why, for all that is holy, do some of us refuse to do our business in there? Why is it so easy for some women to go to the bathroom anywhere and others (me) basically need to barricade ourselves in a WWII bunker, doors locked, fan on, and away from all forms of intelligent life? Well ladies, I think I have the answer for you.
So much self reflection happened on that plane. Let’s first ask ourselves: what was growing up like for you? Were your parents always trying to please others? Were they hyper focused on what other people thought of them? Did they always make sure you were obnoxiously polite? No, I don’t mean the normal ‘please and thank you’ polite. I mean the ‘don’t speak unless spoken to, always say sorry even if you’re not sorry, don’t you dare talk back or disagree with a grownup, and sit up straight with your elbows off the table, polite. You know, the type of polite that is centered on how you appear to others? The ‘she’s so well behaved and courteous’ polite. That was me. And if I ever deviated from any one of those, you know damn well my mother would put the fear of god in me.
So it hit me. I don’t poop in public bathrooms because that’s just how I was raised. I was raised to be a polite girl who was always thinking of others. Which yeah, sometimes that can be a good thing. But really, it’s mainly a bad thing because now we have grown women who are so centered on what others think of them that they can’t even say the word poop, let alone use a public bathroom to do it. Why? Two reasons: one, not wanting others to judge us and two, not wanting to make others uncomfortable.
Let’s take a look at this for a minute. Reason one- not wanting others to judge me. It’s a public bathroom! These are STRANGERS that you will never see again! Why on earth do you care what they think? And even so, they would probably just be like ‘ew, I better hurry up and do my business and get out of here’. Are people actually thinking ‘oh my god, I can’t believe someone would have the audacity to poop in this public restroom’. NO! So let’s let this one go, okay? Strangers judgement on us does not matter, it does not reflect who we are..and they are strangers. Stop caring about what they think now!
Okay so now that we have that clear let’s look at reason two: not wanting to make others uncomfortable. By the time I finally landed, I had to go to the bathroom so bad that I was physically ill. Nauseous, cramping, sweating, you name it. I had now made my own self so sick so as to not make others “uncomfortable”. Think about that for a minute. It’s not as if people are going into public bathrooms to hang out and eat lunch. Look, no one, and I mean NO ONE, goes into a public bathroom expecting it to smell good. So please, for the sake of your sanity, just poop. Do like Elsa and let it go. You can’t hold it back anymore! You are important. Your needs matter. Your health is priority. Your comfort is just as important as everyone else’s.
That is the pep talk I gave myself for the last hour of my flight. I had to muster up the courage to use the public bathroom at the airport. And I did. And you know what? Afterwards I felt GREAT. I felt empowered. I put my own needs first. I went into that bathroom a sneeze away from a catastrophe and I walked out a new woman who put myself first.
Anyway, that was my epiphany. I hope this doesn’t apply to most of you but I know that unfortunately it does. But if your upbringing wasn’t like mine and you can freely use the bathroom whenever and wherever, please take a moment and give your parents a shout out for raising you to put yourself first. If you relate with me though, please remember this article next time you find yourself in a similar situation and put yourself first.
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